Ruined

One of my favorite jokes to tell is 

two muffins are in an oven 

one of the muffin says to the other muffin "Damn, its hot in here"

the other muffin turns and says "OMG, its a talking muffin"

I just found out Nancy tells that joke too. I hate myself now.

roomie and i just decided that jeff and nancy should get married because they are both anal rule people.

people who are idiots are really idiotic.

why aren't i sleeping?

tonight, i tried to explain the concept of "flynn style" to dana. she didn't quite get it. i told her i was just showing love and that i'd haze her later.

nancy was hilarious when she took our picture - she did not make any sense. she told two jokes. "what do you call cheese that isn't yours?" "nacho cheese"
"two muffins are sitting in an oven, one says to the other, wow it's really hot in here. the other one says, shit! a talking muffin!"
it was weird.

i wonder what time/day it is in new zealand.

i just peed, but i have to go again. i think my bladder is playing tricks on me.

Ouch

My brother just sent me an email that says:

"Hey lauren it's henry it seems like you have a lot of time to talk about the pictures you are taking why don't you actually do some work for a change?"

Ode to the Dinosaurs

I figured since Flynn wrote a poem I should too so instead of paying attention last class I wrote this poem...and instead of paying attention in this class I'm going to post it!

The Dino Family

Dinosaurs both big and small
Are greater by far than any at all;
Not giraffes or bunnies or whales,
A family that will never fail.
There's Jenna, crazy, wild and free,
Then firey, fiesty, little Katie.
Scolesies, oh that dirty girl,
Legit. now we will say no more.
Flynn the queen of the concussed
Does her best to always say "truck"
MLK, who's tight as hell
Will give advice and booze as well
And last but certainly not least:
L-Bin way out in old New Z.
The words "ASSHOLE" and "OH MY GOD"
Are not the same when she is gone

A family by choice and not by blood
Bound by love and, of course, P-Dub...

So shut the fucking door!

How did hazing get to be called hazing? Do you have to walk through fog, or even smog for that matter? Well, maybe if someone tells you to, but i don't see how calling someone pledge and humiliating them has anything to do with moisture standing low in the atmosphere and making it hard to see and even harder to drive. Whoever decided to call hazing hazing fails epically at life.

ode to pdub (not sober)

i love the p dub - so legit
sharing our tears, fears, cheers
a safe place to let out the shit
that bothers us too much to keep inside
it isn't fair to make us hide
lay it all out, won't be judged
just make sure the fucking door is closed

hahaha...i love my life.

baby jenner thoughts

-Why do they always call it White Csatle if it is always full of black people? They should call it Black Castle. The building would look really sharp. Are the employees of White Castle the kings and queens of the castle? I would really like someone to explain this to me, or else I will probably complain.

-Me and Pledge came to the realization that she fights when she is drunk because she is about 50% Irish. It's so obvious now!

if someone tells your boyfriend that he "outkicked [his] coverage" in dating you, what does that mean? is that good? i can't even tell.

Annoying people are annoying... (Pledge)
On a scale of one to annoying, annoying people should shut the fuck up! (Me)
That scale made less sense than they usually do, and they usually don't make much sense...but it was one of the best scales ever, so that doesn't matter... (Pledge)
Word. (Me)

Haha

I think my friends are really funny

and I miss them

the male duck billed platypus is one of the few venomous mammals. it has a spur with crazy posion in it's heel. so crazy! you could be killed by a platypus. l bin, if you go to the western coast of australia, try not to anger any duck billed platypuses (platypi?).

on another note, we are learning about sleep in class and i think it is making me sleepy.

Jenna--

"Look, it's my new screen saver" as she puts her scarf over her computer screen...

Sorry it's not verbatim, I didn't write it down as soon as Jenna said it even though she said "somebody write that down" although her computer was sitting on her lap...but her "screen saver" was covering it. Wtf!? lol :)

What the hell is up with me lately? I just don't care about anything it seems. How is this remedied?

L. Bin, I miss you! Why did the airport smell like cheese? That's icky. I hope NZ doesn't smell like cheese. Also, I hope that NZ money looks like play money. I always think foreign currencies look like Monopoly money. Ha.

john(son)

isn't it weird that sometimes people call the bathroom the john, and the penis is sometimes referred to as the johnson? like...you go to the john to take care of your son? i don't know.

today i awoke to find a lovely little document saved on my computer entitled truck. it was drunkenly awesome, but there are a lot of swears in it. here are the better sentences:

jenna has been published representing butler with her awesome butler blue

little flynn is smaller than me. we fit when we hug. you cannot understand this unless you have experienced a flynn on flynn hug.

dreaming?

god i hope im dreaming. this day has gone from good to bad. blah. i feel like my sisters are there for me though, and that is one of the greatest feelings in the world. i love you guys.

i love naptown. and it's swangers. jenna just said "i don't think so bro" to matt. awesome. l bin i miss you so hard. my kitchen is smelly right now, people are cooking. but it doesn't smell like smoke so i am okay with it.

Airport

LAX smells like melting american cheese and I havent even seen any famous people yet. 

The good news is they have internet and they gave me New Zealand dollars for american dollars and I like foreign money. 

Shit the cheese smell just got stronger!!! 

MLK thoughts

It's funny to have class so often in same classroom that you feel like the computer you always sit at actually belongs to you. Today, I think the computer claimed me back. All the logins (facebook, bumail, etc.) had my username in the login field. Ha.

Yesterday, I had the feeling I've finally been assimilated to normal people life. I have friends, I do things I want instead of things I should be doing, I can sit around and do nothing for the first time ever. These are all very new things for me. I don't know if this is good or bad. Maybe it's neither.

baby jenner thought

I have a TD shirt that says "DDD-The Right Choice" on the front of it. I think it is funny because I didn't really have a choice.

Stupid

Stupid people are stupid. 

baby jenner thought

people are dumb.

it smells so good outside! spring is awesome.

i wonder what the birth of music was like.

thoughts?

baby jenner thought

This is a crazy thought. How would Carman sing the song Radio/Video by System of a Down??? I want to skype her and tell her to sing it to me!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PI8KacxPovo&feature=PlayList&p=3E32E34B8634D933&playnext=1&index=50
DELETE IT

I Got Hazed!!

So, the other day I tried to post a thought on this thing. I typed it all out and it took awhile. Actually, no I copied and pasted it...but whatever. ok, so I hit publish post and it didn't!!! I got hazed by a blog! Fuck that.

-i love big black penises.

Pee Dub

The Dinosaur family's pee dub last night was epic. We were all wishing L. Bin was there. I can't remember the last time I felt so in love with my friends.

baby jenner thought

So...I just drunk dialed white castle...and I said that my burgers were soggy. The lady asked me how many people were in my party and I said that I was in a party of 0. I don't get it. I thought it was established that I was in a party of 0. maybe its because I consider other people besides myself part of my party. If I had a party and nobody came and someone was like "oh ya, who went to your party" I'd say zero people. it makes sense to me...i also told the white castle lady my address and phone number. that's going to be hilarious in the future, I can tell. I hope I get coupons!!!

Eww

People who put pictures of themselves kissing their significant other online should be forced to stand in the middle of a crowd and be stoned to death. 

Hey YOU

Who fucked up the layout? ASSSSSS HOOOOOLE

this is malface when she works















also, when you google image search for hamburglar you find some crazy stuff, such as this:
that is a freaking huge burger. also - why is he wearing a helmet? did he decide to go for a drunk bike ride? did this picture happen to be taken on april 17th and he is trying to promote concussion awareness day by wearing a helmet? mystery.

imagine if a cheeseburger was just a hunk of cheese. that would be nuts.

"i already diiiiiiid" i yelled that a lot of times today, it was awesome.

i think it's stupid that twelve condoms cost as much as my bottle of vitamins or a case of beer.

Crave Case

Tonight me and Peggy were talking about crave cases from white castle. I told her that I would easily pay from $300-$900 for 30 delicious sliders, and that I wish that one day I could eat a crave case, but I don't think I will ever be able to. I also told her that if my stats homework was worded so that it involved white castle, I would understand it better.

baby jenner thoughts

"childs play" is fun.

I'm glad I don't live in Florida anymore. I would not be able to get away with wearing a scarf all week!

Happiness

I think maybe that if I can always call up my best friends and if I can always write and I can always doodle and I can always read and I can always have internet access, I might be happy forever.

baby jenner super bowl thoughts

If I were a pittsburgh steeler fan, I would hate myself.

If I was ever a Green Day pledge I would hate myself. Even though I’d be rolling in dough.

When me and Scolesies have a house senior year, we are going to revamp international gin Tuesdays, and have international power hour Tuesday. However, gin will still be required. I haven’t told her about this yet, but I’m sure she will be ok with it.

Old people are funny when they try and play sports and try and act cool. They are also funny when they wear goggles while playing volleyball.

Asian faculty members are hot when they’re playing volleyball. And wearing black athletic shoes with black socks.

50% of soda club members upped their slut points by 50% within about 8 days.

I need to bring a basketball to work so I can shoot hoops in Hinkle…all alone…Hinkle all to myself. Wow. I love my job. Technically I could say that I get paid to play basketball In Hinkle. Sweet.

i love p-dubbing over the phone!